It has been 2 weeks... Have I been happier?
For I know, I have an awesome God. He has given me strength and wisdom to tide through this period. I know He has a wonderful plan ahead of me. I pray that I will submit my life entirely to him...
Work has been overwhelming. Relationship with colleagues have been good, but a tension is rising too...
Today, as I sat in my office desk thinking about my life, I felt really desperate.
I questioned myself about my existence in this workplace, and the relationship I used to have.
I had a loving boyfriend, one who prioritizes me in almost everything that he can.
But why isn't it enough?
As more thoughts filled my mind, I began to realize the reason why.
Love can come in multiple forms...
Today as I attended P&P with godma, indulging in her love,
I realized how much she dotes and cares for me too.
Knowing that I'm suffering from leg cramps all these while, she massaged for me...
She bought me nutritional milk for the second time...
And gave me warmth when I'm cold.
Period like this, she's my greatest pillar of support.
I've been sticking to her too much I'm beginning to feel that I'm annoying.
I'm fearful of sinking deep into this hurt, that I'll wallow in self-pity.
The pain of losing someone you used to have is too much for my fragile heart...
At this point, I'm fully aware of my status.
Enough of asking for attention and love when everything has come to an end.
I don't deserve this anymore. A better person will come along...
Trust in the Lord, that he provides and heals.
Father as you heal me from my wound and scar, help me to also see how wonderful you are.
Help me to trust that you have laid a beautiful life ahead of me.
I pray for peace, faith and hope in us, and that we can both find joy in our life soon...
Amen.
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