Friday, the 13th

Have been so busy this entire day that I have forgotten to check my icon mail.

P dropped 2 emails, urging me to reply, along with burning questions that he needed to know.

So cropped up with work that I find myself suffocating, breathless.

2013 is coming to an end, yes, it is!

I can't let this negativity follow me through.

I need to embrace myself and stand up stronger!

Enough of saying, I need to execute some actions!

On a sidenote, I still can't forget the prawning session we had! :)

It was good, beyond words to describe.

The disparity between the two men is too wide.

one - childish. 

The conversation that we hold could only revolve around the present.

He is stubborn, arrogant, self-centred, selfish, has low self-esteem. 

age is a factor, but upbringing is the key.

two - mature

one that would engage me in a conversation so intellectual, that sets me thinking about the things I've talked about. I enjoy being ferried around, taken to places I've not explored before, and being led about.   

I have to admit I'm mesmerized by his gentleman-ness. 

- one who opens the car door for me

- one who always pulls out the chair and have me seated before him

- one who picks up hair from my dish and laugh at the way I hold my chopsticks

YAY to this man with a concrete plan for the future!

Not that I've fallen in love again, I'm out of love.

More sadly, I'm out of shape too.

I hope my second getaway this weekend makes me more determined to forget my ex.

I hope the trip gives me the courage to throw away all his photos in my wallet and the stuff toys he once gave.

No words from you means that you have also given up on us, which I haven't in fact.

31 December 2013 - the last day I will dwell about us, our beautiful love. The day we met, the hug we always thought could last me to the day that I say "I do". I've always imagined how you would go through gate-crashing just to marry me, because I'm the only princess that you once want to be with.

Are we really over?

Fly the kite, about time.

Really enjoyed my prawning session with WK and friends today :)
Great catch and chit-chat sessions we had!

Headed to Jurong Hill once again, and it was a whole new experience.
Seems like I've left a piece of my heart somewhere.
I'll have a good sleep tonight. <3

May God show me the way... I know He will.

27-11-2012

More than a year ago, you penned this down for me.

And today, I know that I have to treat it seriously because we're officially completely over.

"Life is short and time waits for no one... The only thing that stays constant is endless changes... I don't know where life will lead us to in the future... So I just wanna take this opportunity to tell you some things... I think that if life were to separate us one day and we end up in totally different places, I'll always remember how our paths align. I'll be thankful for that. And hope that wherever you are, you'll be thankful too. I think that is the best that we can wish for"

"Some things will never change... just like how I will always love your smile..."

--> For this, I'll continue to smile radiantly for this world. I will not cry I will not ache, I will smile and melt your heart and soul ... :)

New date, yes/no?

This is such a difficult night.
I foresee myself grabbing a ticket, sail to Batam, a place where serenity and peace would greet.
I just want to lay down in my bikini, slap on some suntan lotion, wear my glasses and daze.
Life without you has to go on, isn't it?
There's just this indescribable feeling about where life would lead me to.
hatred or love, fear or grief.
It doesn't matter anymore.

To heal and be healed.

Finally went for my surgery op yesterday...
Thank God everything was smooth and safe :)
I thank Lord for his presence and healing hands to be upon me all the time,
He is my great Father, who loves me more than I can imagine.

Still, my greatest hope now is to move on, without him lingering around my thoughts all the time.
I've been having difficulty falling in asleep, with those memories replaying incessantly in my head.
I must have been not working hard enough to have these events captured again.

Time - to heal and be healed.
Lord, you hear my cries to reach out to you.
Come walk with  me through this trying time.
Give me the strength and wisdom that I need to be whole again.
Turn me into the person you want me to be,
and I commit my entire life into your heavenly hands.

In Jesus' almighty name,
Amen.

Ajisen; a place we used to love.

Our dinner at Ajisen Restaurant brings back wonderful memories.
The meat was succinct, the soup was tasty - just the way it used to be.
But things have changed so much ever since.
We've lost contact and have become strangers overnight.
I still miss you very very much, do you?
I bawled at the fact that I'm still craving for this, even after months of separation.
That the desire to be with you is still so strong.
How did I ever get so deeply in love?

God, I pray that you'll walk with me through this difficult phase of my life.
Give me strength to move on completely, and erase him out of my memory.
I commit my life into your heavenly hands, and to lead the life you want me to lead.
Father God, I know you love me more than anyone else and today, I give my life to you.

In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.

Feeling: Down

I've been in the lowest mood again.
I miss him very very much, not that my life's not good.
But really, I miss his touch and him caressing my hair.
If only he'd feel the same way...

Dear God, pls help me to move on.
I'm still stuck in this past love.