He was nice, like the old Guardian Angel I lost.

My ex has moved on...
He too, believes that God has a bigger plan for me.
From the short text exchanges, I could sense how well and strong he is.
I was indeed glad and upset at the same time.
Glad because he seems a happier person (which I'm doubting if it's pride)
Upset because I'm still stuck at the same place.

I wonder, if I can get a man to move on this fast,
then I must be so unworthy and undeserving to him.

I don't know what I can do to make myself better.
I cried again while talking to my colleagues today.
I told them I can't move on... I simply can't.
And I had to quickly dry my tears before going into the classroom again.

You know sometimes,
I feel like I'm such a fake person.
I'm down, I'm crushing.
Yet, in front of my pupils,
Ms Ong is always bubbly and happy.
They told me this and hugged me today.
I never know how children could understand better than adults do...

When I recalled how he used to say I'm a joke/cartoon,
it makes my heart twitched a little more.
Now I fully understand why.
I AM A LIVING JOKE.

I am taking one step at a time, to heal from this pain...

I remember saying this to him a few weeks ago,

“记得一定要过得比我好!"

I'm glad he does now...

I can't imagine dating new guys now.
Then I realize, is not easy finding the one you really love.
I've always known this all along, but all has become clearer with experience.

Some of my close friends are giving up on me, knowing what I'm determined to do.
Others on the contrary, are very encouraging.
I guess, I know what is best for me and him.

If it's clear he wants me to get out of his life completely,
I should, I will and I must.
But please, give me time.

If missing you is part and parcel of my life now,
then I think I'm on the highway to more insomnia, more tears, more heartbreaks..